FUGLY

(Sung like Sinatra)

"You redefine the word Fugly,
The way you walk in a room.
You redefine the word Fugly,
Cause, Honey, Baby,
Fugly redefines you."

Martyred saints patrol the paint,
Like onions under eyelids sewn.
So sew up your IUD in a fish's bottom,
And drink thine hemlock fatburner.

"You redefine the word frumpy,
The way you sit in your chair,
You redefine the word frumpy,
Cause, honey, baby, sweetheart,
Frumpy redefines you"

Forced banana Ovaltine and Grandpa's scruff, 
Forced to  exude confidence without being buff.
Forced to drink a Heineken with Nazi sympathizers,
Forced to be an odor eater in the shoes of Kaisers.

Epileptic tumors in an avalanche of lust,
Catatonic jurors sentence you to bite the dust.
Another Manic Monday trying to lick your own bust,
But you just can't reach.  You just can't reach.

And the last refrain goes:

"You redefine the word Fugly,
So charming in your canoe,
You redefine the word Fugly,
Cause honey, baby, sweetheart, sister.................
Fugly redefines YOU."

{POETRY}