7 BOURBONS

7 bourbons incite insane morning subway train ride,
Monstrous looking old man hunched over in the shape of an L,
Drueling coffee into his briefcase,
Drunk and deteriorated beyond Marty Feldman.

7 bourbons pulling on last night's Peanut Butter and Jelly dinner,
Adding five pounds to my skull,
Turning my skin green,
Stranger than friction, like Katherine Hepburn's diction.

7 bourbons, you are kidding me you ate Alonzo's kidney beans.
I must Ween you off your diet of prunes and chili 
if you want to sleep next to me.
Bastardization of election concern,
You value your rights less than your new bone.

Buttered breasts of Tuck and Patti,
Come home Lassie, come home laddie,
Verging hands leave trails of hair,
Verging missions solved by Nair.

There's so much stomach in your voice,
So much breath in your hair,
So many brothers in your Joyce,
So much glare in your stare.

You are the pimp to my sex cop,
And the sheets are getting too dirty for my taste.
Joint ventures, smoke some joints and venture,
Into the overtures of soiled undies.

Unhinged Grinch on a tryptophan binge,
Shit on Christmas, pee on Hannukah,
Light your lampshade shame on fire,
And perspire out last night's bender.

Coming full circle, I miss Urkel,
Like a sixteen year old 
missing barbed wire kisses and icicle tears.
Teenage fears come to fruition,
7 bourbons burped up by design.

{POETRY}